Hey Mogul!

There’s a saying, “The uncommitted life is not worth living.”

I want you to ask yourself, what do you commit it to?

If you can’t think of it offhand, think about how you spend your time because how you spend your time shows your commitment.

Use your commitment to control your destiny.

I woke up today thinking about control and what I’m in control of and what I’m not in control of. And usually, around this time of the year, we reflect on the year gone by. We think about what we want to do, and who we want to be for the new year, and during that time, we do a lot of self-reflection and self-analysis.

About 10 years ago, I stopped doing New Year’s resolutions and the reason was that I want to live my best life all year long. I don’t want to wait for a particular time of the year to do better.

If I want to eat better, I start eating better at that moment. So who cares if I just had a double cheeseburger with extra this or extra that. In the evening, I’m going to eat a salad, and I’m going to try to eat better the next day .

If I want to start working out more and it’s a Tuesday, I’m not going to wait till Sunday to start my workout routine. I’m going to start that night or that next day.

If I want to start improving my relationship with my friends or my family, I will not wait for some arbitrary day to call them. I’m going to pick up the phone right then when they cross my mind. I’m going to call them, and the reason is the next moment is not promised.

Ask someone who’s lost someone to a heart attack, or aneurysm, or cancer. They will tell you that you need to take advantage of the moment. You need to love the ones you’re with, spend time, and commit yourself to build those relationships. Don’t put it off. You don’t know who’s going to be here tomorrow.

My husband lost his father in a car accident. He left that morning to go fishing and he never came back. You can’t prepare for that. You can’t undo what has happened. You can’t wish you would have called someone. You can’t, should’ve, could’ve, would’ve.

I am not afraid, ashamed, or fearful of becoming the best I can be, and I hope you aren’t either. The best you is independent of anything else. It’s independent of your ability to be a parent, it’s independent of your desire to have children, it’s independent of your position, it’s independent of your job, it’s independent of your salary.

All of those things do not define you whether you think they do or not.

If you seek outside validation from anyone or anything, you are doomed to live a miserable life. You are in control. You are the most perfect you. You can be at this moment. You need to upgrade your thoughts. Upgrade your beliefs and upgrade the control in your life.

These seven things prove that you have complete control of your life and the elevations you can reach.  You can reach your exponential greatness.

Your thoughts and beliefs 

The first is your thoughts and your beliefs.

How you see the world is how you live.

What you focus on is what you see, and most of us have tunnel vision. We can only see the things right in that tunnel, and it’s hard to see the items in the periphery. And the periphery is usually where the magic happens.

If you’re focusing on the positive, you’re going to see the positive. If you’re focusing on the negative, you’re going to see the negative. Have you ever had the thought about a yellow car, then all of a sudden, all you can see are yellow cars on the highway or on the way home from work?   Did you manifest all the yellow cars onto the highway that day?  No.

You put that thought in your head, and now you’re seeing the thing that you’re thinking about. Abundance works in the same way.

If you start thinking about how I’m going to start a business, how I’m going to grow as a person, how I’m going to get into shape, how I’m going to earn more money, how I’m going to increase my side hustles. Things will start moving around in your life to give you those things.

You will start meeting people that are business owners. You will begin to meet mentors that can help guide you along your way. You’re going to start running into opportunities to gain more cash or more resources.

If you start thinking about how you want to increase your education. You’re going to start seeing ads on Google about this University or that program. A lot of that is SEO, and the Google algorithm reading your mind or hearing you talk on your phone, or hearing you talk to your friends over a social media chat or reading your text messages, but energy works in the a very similar way.

But a lot of that is the universe also putting those things in your path. When you phrase a sentence, always think about the abundant side of it and not the lack.

“I can’t.”

“I don’t.”

“I won’t.”

“I don’t have.”

“I can’t have.”

“I don’t know.”

Those are all statements of lack. You need to come from a statement of abundance.

“I can.”

“I will.”

“I do.”

“I am.”

Those are all abundant statements, and they have power. You control your power by the words you use. A lot of people live in envy and jealousy. They look at pop stars, celebrities, or athletes and are envious and jealous of them, instead of admiring them and trying to figure out what they did right to get where they are and how you can somehow model that.

I always use this example. I am by no means comparing myself to the greatest tennis player of all time, or knocking any athlete’s physical ability. Yet, I look at someone like Serena Williams and know she has an amazing amount of talent.  Most of us think we could never be that talented.

Maybe you can’t be as talented as her, right? But think about how you live your life, think about how long you work at your job.

If you could work 8 to 12 hours a day at just one thing, don’t you think you’d get really good at it? Imagine a pianist, if you have the skill to play the piano, and you practiced at that piano 8 to 12 hours every single day, you’d probably be pretty darn good. As a matter of fact, once you practiced for 10,000 hours you’d be considered an expert at it.  So, you don’t have to envy that pianist.  Instead, think about how beautifully they can play and if you wanted that to be you, do it!

If you want to dedicate the time, the 10,000 hours, it’s going to take to become good at that thing. Then do it, otherwise admire their talent, and know that if you wanted to be just as talented, you could because you are in control.

You’re probably pretty good at your job. You probably do it well. You probably win awards. You probably get complemented. You probably get people thanking you for all the great things you’re doing at your job. That’s your Serena Williams, that is your pianist. You’re doing that thing really well and if you don’t like doing that thing anymore, change it.

How we treat our bodies.

The second thing we have full control of is how we treat our bodies.

How often we move, how often we exercise, what we eat, the kinds of foods we eat, how often we eat, the language we use when we’re talking to someone, the language we use when we’re talking to ourselves, and our environment–all of that we control.

If you want to be better and be healthier, then do something different. If you want to eat better, reprioritize what you’re eating. Yes, healthy food is expensive, I know. We started shopping for mostly organic, mostly whole foods, primarily natural foods, and our grocery bill has doubled. 

But health is wealth, so the increased expenses is so very worth it.  If you truly can’t afford that that extra expense, then you need to find ways you can afford it: farmer’s markets, discount grocery, ripened fruits and veggies, etc.

You may have to cut out some unhealthy habits–those things that aren’t providing you any value.

As we age, our health is all we have. It’s everything. Putting in that time to stretch every morning and exercise as often as possible, eat well, drink water, and breathe fresh air. It’s everything. Don’t minimize it.

You can’t control if you have a heart attack. You can’t control if you have a stroke. But you can do the things necessary to minimize those effects. You can reduce the chances of those things happening to you. Control that.

Your effort.

The third thing you’re in full control of is your effort.

Your effort equals your results.

You must put in the work; nothing will happen for you without you putting in the work to get it: your life, your dreams, your goals, your aspirations. To have the things you want in your life, you need to create an action plan.

You need to write that stuff down and you need to figure out how you can achieve those goals.  If you don’t do that and you’re not putting any effort towards it, it’s going to continue to be a dream on your vision board, or in your dream book, and you can just close it up and put it away, and let it get dusty.

The effort you put into a relationship, that’s all you. If you are putting in the effort and you’re investing in the relationship and you’re not getting anything back–that investment is dead and you probably need to let it go.

If you keep investing in something that you get nothing out of, you should move on to something else that’s going to bring you joy. That’s going to bring you happiness. Something that will help you reach exponential greatness.

Your pursuit of knowledge.

The fourth thing you’re in full control of is your pursuit of knowledge.

So maybe you’re not me, perhaps you’re not ready to quit your job in a year and completely convert to your side hustles like I am.

You still owe yourself the pursuit of knowledge. You should be learning and doing things to better yourself.

If you need certificates to be better at your trade, get those certificates. If you need a degree to be more competitive and appear more knowledgeable to your customer, or your client, do that thing. If you always wanted to learn a language and travel more post COVID, you should do that.

Take the time.

I think Rosetta Stone is offering like a lifetime all the languages for like $149. That’s worth the investment to learn another language and keep learning it. I’ve learned two languages in my life, Arabic and French.

I don’t remember any French because I learned Arabic. But I have to constantly, continuously practice. I live in Egypt, for goodness sake, and I still have to continually practice my Arabic or I’ll lose it. I’ve been out of the country for over six months, and I had to re-listen, practice, and study Arabic because it goes that quick.

It’s not a native language for me so, I have to keep practicing it, and that’s with anything in life. Whatever doesn’t come naturally, what you didn’t grow up being programmed to do, you have to keep at it.

If you want to constantly grow you have to seek information, and look for things. I want you to ask yourself what’s something that you have known to be true since you can remember since you were a child, you’ve known this thing to be accurate, then I want you to ask yourself well, how do you know it’s true, and investigate that.

Maybe you believe something is true that’s not true, or perhaps you believe something is true for an incorrect reason, that’s one of seeking knowledge. Grow your mind, increase your control.

Gratitude

The fifth thing we’re in full control of is gratitude.

Being thankful. Being thankful for where you are. Being grateful for the ability to get where you want to be.

I remembered several years ago that a friend of mine was speaking with her sister, and they were asking each other, “Are people really happy?” and they couldn’t think of anyone who was really happy. And my girlfriend thought of me, and she’s like, “She’s always happy.” and it’s true.

I am, I’ve experienced loss. I have experienced regret. I’ve experienced failure, but I didn’t let those things define me. I use it as a stepping stone to get to the next thing.

Failure is good. Just fail forward. You tried but it didn’t work out. Try again. Who says you can’t keep trying?

In a relationship, sometimes people fail at a relationship, keep trying, analyze what went wrong, try to be better the next time. No moment in our life makes us who we are. You are not the worst thing you’ve ever done.  You are the most perfect you, you can be at that moment.

Be grateful. Be grateful for the ability to be where you are and if you want to change it, you can change it.

How we treat others.

The sixth thing that we have full control of is how we treat others.

Be kind.

It’s not always the easiest thing to do. Especially when someone is spitting mad negative energy at you, but be positive anyway. If someone is negative, they’re looking for you to feed them with negativity, so you guys can just be negative energy all day long. Forget that, give them positive energy, and then get away from them.

It is not your job to change the world. It’s not your job to fix anyone.

That barista that is having a bad day, and he didn’t want to come to work today, don’t let him ruin your day. Every time I give someone the negative energy they give me, I regret it. It turns my spirit. It takes me off balance, and it makes me regretful.

Don’t do it, just be positive. “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I use that one a lot. My mom taught me that one.

Who we surround ourselves with. 

The seventh thing that we have full control of is who we surround ourselves with.

Are the people you spend most of your time with encouraging you, helping you grow? Can you bounce ideas off of them? Can you trust them? Are they helping you be a better person? Are you able to dream big with them? Are you bouncing ideas about businesses off of them?

Are you guys talking about the next investment, the next thing that’s going to make you money, the next thing that’s going to help you live in financial freedom, the best way to grow your business? The best way to leave your current job?

And if you’re not around people who are strategizing and synergizing these kinds of thoughts, and that’s what you want to be doing deep down inside, that’s who you are, you need to change your surroundings.

If you’re at work and everybody’s a dud, then work on your work and work on yourself. And when you get home, spend time with those who love you, those who will help you be a better person. If you’re always talking to someone in your private time or personal time, and they are negative, stop! That’s not helping you be the best person that you can be.

“Birds of a feather flock together.” “You’re judged by the company you keep.” Those are both phrases my mom used while growing up, and I finally understood it as I became a young adult. You really are.

If you’re not riffraff, stop hanging around riffraff. If you’re not a loser, stop hanging around losers. If you’re not lazy and unmotivated, then stop hanging around people that are.

They’re not going to get you to where you want to go.

Final Thoughts

The purpose of this is to encourage you and let you know that you have more control than you think you do, and it’s essential for you to invest in yourself.

As we approach this new year, I want you to find a new you, not like there’s something wrong with the old you, but the new and improved you. The you that knows that you can make anything happen.

You can reach your goals. You can invest in yourself, and you can change or not change something in your life, but it’s because you want to, not because it’s some outward force keeping you from doing it.

I want you to empower yourself. I want you to reach your exponential greatness. I want you to invest in yourself one percent every day and have an unbelievable return on investment at the end of the year.

You are that important. You are worth it. You are what you put your mind to. You are in control of your life. You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.